Things I didn't even understand about myself, but Dr. Isis does

So, first, YAY! Dr. Isis is back. Apparently I have been living under a rock and missed this momentous occasion. Oh, and if you've been "following" this blog, I'm sure you'll agree that I must have been living under a rock. Something like that.. it's called "tenure track". Second, she's seriously BACK, writing brilliant, poignant and witty posts as per usual. Like this post that describes Dr. Isis' evolution of her own understanding of herself and the male-dominated world she operates in that resonated with me to an uncanny degree. The progression she underwent of "fitting in as one of the boys" but actually being some sort of novelty, and thinking maybe she had some sort of upper hand being the young/cute/unique one are phases I identify with clearly. And yet I too have outgrown both attitudes. I've recently been bothered by being bothered by my place as a woman in a highly male dominated field. I wondered why it was that *now* I suddenly was struggling with this just as it should really be having less and less impact on me. But the reality is that *now* is the time more than ever I want and need to be respected for what I'm capable of and am doing.. not for being cute, and coincidentally smart on the side. She ends with: "I still wear makeup, I still dress nicely, and I still have killer shoes, but I am secure enough in my own abilities to want to make my achievements the focus of the positive attention from my colleagues. I’m secure enough to answer comments on my appearance with an eye roll and to realize that professional compliments that come hand-in-hand with remarks about my appearance don’t come from anyone that is going to really take me seriously or see me as their peer. Those true intellectual relationships are the ones worth finding and cultivating." I hope that someday none of this will matter at all, and a compliment can just be a compliment and not risk diminishing the apparent level of respect between colleagues. But in the meantime, I have no intention of giving up my cute shoes, so I suppose everyone will just have to get over it.