science... always harder than you thought it would be...

Quote of the day:

Every problem is like an infinite goldmine of hard.
~hubby

And so I continue to muddle though, working on this thing that was just supposed to be quick and easy, but turned into a way bigger thing than I wanted right now. Thankfully hubby can help!

That's Dr. to you.

I am done. That will be Dr. physics*chick from now on.

Must go drink now. Details maybe later... maybe fuzzy...

Defending your thesis... to study? or not to study?

So, I'm t-6 days to D-day (yes, it took them 3 months to get me a defence date... no, I do not want to talk about it yet.. there is a big post on the mess of all that brewing), and the question I keep getting is "what are you doing to prepare for your defence?". My answer so far has been mostly "Um, I have some slides?" with a subtext in my head of "I wrote the damn thesis, I think I know what's in there". But it's started to freak me out. I guess I'll re-read a little about a few peripheral topics, but beyond that and checking my talk for timing, I don't think I'm going to do anything besides set an alarm to make sure I get up. I hate studying (reading & learning things, that's different), it makes me nervous, and nervous is the last thing I want to be.

So here's my question to you internet scientists out there:

What (did you/will you/think you will/see others) do to prepare?

Piled Higher and Deeper... they weren't kidding

My desk as it stands today:

Piles upon piles... stacks upon stacks... books and notes and files everywhere. I guess that's where PhD comics got the "Piled higher and Deeper" moniker from.

But wait... what is that sitting at the edge of my desk...



... could that be seven thesis copies bound and labelled in acco press binders? forms all signed and ready for submission?? Why yes, that's exactly what those are, and submit it is exactly what I did first thing this morning.

Whoah.

Post-doc loc: hint #1

evergreen, originally uploaded by physics*chick.

Since I'm still waiting for my supervisor's thesis comments, let's play a game!

Guess where I'm going for a post-doc?

*No cheating by going to Flickr to see the other pictures.*

excuse me while i melt into a pool of blubbering grad student

So, I gave a "final" draft of my thesis to my supervisor on Friday. I'm sure he will have a few suggestions, but I don't expect major revisions as he's seen the bulk of it already and we discussed the sections he hasn't on several occasions. The last few days I've been puttering around, tidying up a few little things here and there, buying the stupid acco press binders I have to submit my thesis in, finding all the forms and figuring out the oddities of submitting a partially manuscript-based thesis. That last bit was stressful, though for once they were actually nice to me at grad studies, and there isn't really a problem except I can't find my copyright agreements anywhere. Note to self: make a folder for that.

So everything is fine. I'm almost done! But I feel all shaky and like I'm going to burst into tears. I think I've been under a bit too much stress. Maybe the giant thunderstorm outside is not helping. Maybe waking up at 4am and mentally outlining a review article I could write is not helping.

I have to say, I've done this thesis writing thing all wrong. Since April, I've attended 5 conferences/workshops, organized an "informal" summer school lunch series, given 5 talks and 2 posters, travelled to 6 cities, cut 2 pseudo-vacations short, submitted 1 paper and helped with corrections/preparation for two more, submitted two more abstracts for conference presentations, had my SIL visiting, had my hubby go to Japan for a month (while SIL was visiting), helped my best friend get married... oh, and wrote a thesis. I had, at most, two week stretches to write, and most of those got broken up with other little things. The majority of my thesis was written in bits and pieces of a day or two here and there. Some of it on planes, trains and busses. I can't say I really enjoyed the process.

Contrast this with how I wrote my MSc thesis, which I actually really enjoyed doing (ok, I missed the lab, but still I enjoyed it): one 7 week stretch, removed from my department by 5000km. No distractions, no conferences, no travelling. One move, and then time at a desk. I got really focused and into it, I learned things about my data I hadn't seen before, I thought of new interpretations, and things started to come together in a more consistent way. I had time to pick at the writing, the presentation, the ordering of the story and make it all flow.

I'm happy enough with the thesis I have in front of me now, I think it flows ok (given the circumstance under which I wrote it, I'm a little surprised), there are generalizations from the data that I'm just thrilled about, and I think it presents a nice consistent story. I hope it won't be painful to read. But I didn't have the time (or energy) to put a real polish on it this time. I'm sure it's good enough, but it's my usual "best". I'm proud of the science, but the document is just ok. There are things I thought of doing, that I just passed over in the end. It's bugging me. Maybe this is why I keep waking up at 4am thinking about these things. On the other hand, there is a voice in my head pleading "for the love of god, please just hand it in" because I can't bear the thought of dealing with it any longer. I need a real vacation. ;)

So, for those of you embarking on writing a thesis, I have this advice to offer: don't book yourself into dozens of obligations while you are writing. Set aside a real block of time to focus. Tell your colleagues they will have to get along without you (run away if you can!). Then, maybe, just maybe, you will enjoy it and learn something new from yourself.

I learned that I have limits. *sigh*

things I've learned this week

Stress is a state of mind, it's how we respond to the pressure. This has worked for me to help with feeling stressed a lot over the last year. But then there are times where there is really too much...

Working creates more work and that's how I got myself into this jam. If I hadn't worked so hard earlier, I wouldn't be giving 5 presentations in the next 2 months (2 in the next 2 weeks!) and submitting 2 more abstracts this week. If I would just learn to be mediocre I could just be happily writing my thesis in peace. Sometimes I need to leave well enough alone...

So now that I'm here...

The answer is not working harder, it's beer, because working harder will just lead to more work, right? and I seriously need to relax.

new favourite afternoon tea

So I go through phases with tea, and I'm in a tea phase right now. By mid-afternoon I'm usually needing a little pick-me-up, but coffee seems to get me going too much to be able to sit and write. I like earl-grey ("Tea, earl grey, hot!" ... I'm such a dork... *snort*) but I picked up this new Lipton tea the other day which is a blend of white tea, green tea, blueberry and pommegranate. I'm ashamed to say I think I was attracted to the packaging, but I don't really care, because it turns out to be quite good. And they say antioxidants/flavinoids/whatevers are good for you right?

Cherrio then! Tea time!

To be or not to be... a prof

I'm supposed to be writing things, but I keep stumbling across interesting articles...

This one is about what it takes to be a science professor... at least some of the many aspects... with emphasis on the many. Certainly being academically strong is not the only requirement for the job.

University Affairs: So you want to be a science professor?

I think that piece of advice regarding asking someone you respect who is already there whether they think you have what it takes (and listening to them) is a good one... a reality check both for those suffering from impostor syndrome (they might say you'll be great!) and those on the other end of the spectrum (maybe it's important to consider other options). I had a conversation like this with my supervisor a few months ago, and while I got the impression he's confident I could get and do (maybe even excel) at the job, he brought up the issue that it might take longer than I'd like to find a professorship in the right area, both academically and geographically, and encouraged me to think about alternate plans should I get to the point I'm not willing to wait longer for a "real job". He knows I have other life goals/plans, and well, I guess reality is that a professorship *might* not work out for me. Not what I wanted to hear, but something I think I needed to hear... not that I'm giving up or anything!

sigh...

... i think it's going to be another one of those days. somehow, i can't get my thermos open, which contains the life-giving coffee i so desperately need at the moment. oh, and i put the lid on, so... how does that work??

huh, it was the same side of the bed as every other morning...

I'm in a foul mood today. I've decided to just finally admit it to myself. Absolutely everything is getting to me today. It's kind of like being really itchy. I'm just plain cranky, and it doesn't help that everything is taking longer than I think it should today.

In fact some things I thought would be relatively simple have turned out to be a major pain in the arse due to a gnome infested computer that likes to change parameters without recording them anywhere accessible. So I'm guessing a calibration. It's 50-50 (there are only two options), and they're different enough I'm pretty sure I know it used the wrong one, but I don't like guessing.

So instead of writing the paper I'm supposed to be writing, I spent the last 5 hours trying to figure out what the heck is going on with my stupid images. Nothing seems to read the header fully enough to find out which calibration was used... if that is recorded at all (there's nm/pixel, but I need to know which nm/V was used to determine that).

Also, it is 30 C in my office. The university switches from heating to air conditioning on May 1 regardless of the actual weather.

I don't like heat.

My computer is overheating and burning my hands.

Gah.

Can I go home now?

It's not about technology, it's about academic integrity

By now, I think pretty much everyone has heard about it: the Ryerson student facing expulsion for his facebook exploits. Headlines like: Toronto student in Facebook fiasco, Online 'scapegoat' hailed, and Look, technology ... hide!.

Is it a huge PR nightmare for Ryerson? For sure, everyone's jumped on the facebook bandwagon and is accusing the university of being in the dark ages. Wake up and smell the virtual coffee. Is Chris Avenir unfortunate enough to be caught in the middle of something bigger than a facebook group? Yeah, probably. But the issue isn't the use of technology, it's the intent to circumvent academic integrity.

Universities have embraced technology, I'd say rather rapidly. My first email account was with the university, I'd never even had internet before. Today, most universities provide online registration, grades, course tools, testing, and yes, even discussion boards through tools like WebCT. I don't think universities are technophobes. So why the attack on this facebook "study" group?

"If you request to join, please use the forms to discuss/post solutions to the chemistry assignments. Please input your solutions if they are not already posted."

I'm not sure one can argue very effectively that this statement was not intended encourage the sharing of answers. Obviously Mr. Avenir was not the only one involved, but this doesn't really sound like students trying to use an online tool for open conceptual discussion. And what about the use of facebook, rather than one of those tools provided by the university? If everything was on the up-and-up why not use a discussion board for the course? I'm sure the professor would not have minded constructive discussion... in fact he/she would probably have been very pleased... unless there was cheating going on. In my experience (as a web-based TA) students turn to facebook and other places they think they are "safe" online when they know they are crossing that line. This is not about technology. The university provides that. This is about academic integrity.

Academic integrity. When I started university, not that long ago, I think I heard it mentioned once or twice. I knew there was a policy somewhere, and my handbook/agenda might have given the link for where to find it. I also knew cheating was wrong. Fast-forward 5 years, and TA's are practically reciting it to every class. Why? Because it's needed. Those same TA's are grading identical papers, and having conniptions about what to do. Is a first year lab worth reporting? What if it damages this person's academic career? University policy for cheating is strict, but rightly so, especially as it becomes increasingly prevalent. Somehow, despite how often academic integrity is hounded into students these days, they often don't even seem to realize what they are doing is wrong, and undermining their very own education. I don't know when or why this became such a problem, but it is.

So, is an online study group, where answers get shared, any different than the study group I worked with in the computer lab in 1st year to get my online physics assignments done? Yes and no. Obviously, we "shared" a little too much at times. There was a deadline, there was panic, Cindy-loo-who had the answer! But the distinction comes in the need for two-way interaction. In a face-to-face study group, people are more likely to take the time to explain how they got to an answer, and people are less likely to only take from the group. It starts to become obvious if Joe isn't pulling his weight. If Joe's lucky, someone will give him a hand if he's just having trouble. This kind of study group speaks to effective educational techniques like peer-teaching and probably offsets the degree of illegitimate "sharing". The worry is that this isn't necessarily the case for an online study group, especially one as large as Avenir's. People post answers, other people come and read those answers. There is less impetus for two-way sharing, and it is both more difficult and less likely that people will have full discussion to understand the background.

I'm all for using online tools for learning. I think it's great that these extra resources are out there, and online discussions allow students who might not otherwise be able to participate in a "real-world" study group (due to living situations, distance from the university, etc.) the chance to interact with their peers. But students have to realize that the the same rules apply in online world that apply in the real world. Facebook, or any other site is not a virtual shelter. (In fact, it leaves a digital trail.)

I don't know that it's entirely fair to Chris Avenir for the University to expel him, and not the other participants in the group, but I do think they have every right to enforce academic policy in any forum that students attempt to use to circumvent it.

sunday afternoon musings about productivity

it has become clear to me on this sunday afternoon, that if i am ever going to get a thesis written, i am going to need a supply of chocolate in my office.

Imposter syndrome... a real thing

A few times when I've mentioned "Imposter syndrome" I've been met with a reaction of disbelief. Of course, most people in academia know it all too well (I could theorize on why this is*, but have no substantiation for my beliefs other than my personal experience).

There is an article over at Science Careers right now: Getting over the feeling that you're not a phoney takes accurate self-appraisal (found via "On being a scientist and a woman", thanks for the heads up!) that I found a good read (it even has references! see it's real!). Sometimes it helps just to be aware of the problem, that it is real, and that you are far from alone.

I have struggled with Imposter syndrome myself. I have always been a good student, I've won scholarships and received recognition from people in my field at conferences, I've got papers published that people seem to read and cite, by all measures I seem to be doing relatively well... but then the doubt creeps in. Am I working as hard as my peers? Do I understand and know as much as they do? Are my publications as good as theirs? Did I just get lucky with this project I'm on? Could I have done as well with something else? Will I be able to produce successful results and publications somewhere else working on something different? Yipes! Why the hell do I not feel confident about my own success?? And yet, people seem to see me as successful, confident and knowledgeable, and I think at times I foster Imposter syndrome in my peers. On the one hand, I know it is important to project confidence in order for others to take you seriously and believe what you have to say, but on the other hand, it seems ridiculous for my peers to see me this way when at times I don't feel confident and am questioning whether I really know what I know. What an imposter I am!

I went through a particularly bad spell after writing the PhD preliminary or qualifying exam here. After all the stress of the exam I was sure I would fail it and that maybe it was for the best because I didn't belong here anyway. At the same time I was awarded a top scholarship and my brain just couldn't wrap itself around this apparent disparity between what I thought of my ability, and what was being validated externally. Which was correct? Was I an Imposter who didn't deserve said scholarship? Or was I just crazy? It has taken a long time to get over this (err... mostly over it) despite lots of other successes along the way. I told one of the professors in our department when he asked about the prelim exam that I found it a "soul-crushing, confidence-destroying experience" and he looked at me strangely and inquired how that could be for such a good student?

While I agree with the article that accurate self-appraisal is key to knocking down Imposter syndrome, afterall, it comes from within, how does one develop an accurate (and I guess un-biased) view of one's own success? The article makes some suggestions that I will try. Mostly though, I think it is good to talk about it, and perhaps it would help too to hear it from people who have made it already. A friend of mine's father is a professor in the same general field in which she is doing a PhD and she talked about a conversation she had with her dad about Imposter syndrome. She was mystified to discover that after all these years he too still feels somewhat like a "fraud" from time to time, despite a long successful career as evidence to the contrary. I hold onto that as an indication that these waverings and feelings of being an imposter are in my head, and that they can be overcome... though they may also be with me for the long run!

* I think it has to do with two aspects of being an academic. The first is the long period of time spent in school and under constant evaluation and comparison with peers. The second is the difficulty of comparing ones performance to ones peers once in a research intensive environment due to the diversity of work at the level. Due to our training, we may try even harder to determine our success (give ourselves a grade), but it becomes increasingly difficult to compare even different sub-fields as the nature of the research may mean more/less publications, more/less attention, more/less funding support... As such we end up as a bunch of over-achievers starved for evaluation and turn inward allowing our insecurities to compound, surmising that of course our colleges, who outwardly appear confident and competent, must be smarter, harder-working, and just plain better than us. These may at least be contributing factors to the prevalence of Imposter syndrome in academia... in my humble opinion. How to change this? I have no idea. Maybe there is a way to foster accurate self-evaluation earlier in our education, but I don't have any idea how to accomplish that.

I learned a new word today...

STET.

Courtesy of the (very funny) Yarn Harlot's blog today.

stet |stet|
verb ( stetted , stetting ) [ intrans. ]
let it stand (used as an instruction on a printed proof to indicate that a correction or alteration should be ignored).

It is an editing term, derived from latin, that means "let it stand", as in put it back the way I wrote it, as in stop trying to ruin the greatness that I crafted in words.

Today, I am trying to finalize the edits for an article manuscript I just got back from a journal with some comments I swear indicate that the referees only looked at the figures and read every third paragraph. To be fair I get a little overly attached to my writing, and have a tendency to take it rather personally when a referee suggests changes. Ok fine, so sometimes I want to cry and just revoke my submission and say "fine, then the world will just NEVER KNOW!"... possibly including a "nah na-nah na-nah naaahhh". Of course I realize that is just silly, and then go about trying not to sound too defensive and like I am a reasonable being that is at least considering what has been suggested. Sigh.

I wish I could just reply with a giant "STET". No "please" attached.

Seriously.

ps- in all honesty, there are some good suggestions, and I suppose the paper will be better for it, except that now it will be too long. I just hate the revision process, and there are a few really odd comments I just don't know how to respond to besides to say "read it again!".

identity crisis

No, no, I'm not the one having trouble with my identity, it's the internet.

Something that's bugged me for awhile is that, due to my very common name compounded with the fact that I usually publish with my given initials only, when I search for my own papers in web of science or inspec, or any other of the publication databases, it is next to impossible to find my papers through the hundreds of others with the same moniker. It is especially problematic as it seems there is someone at my institution with the same first initial and same last name that publishes on many, many super multi-author publications, thus totally drowning out my (meager) contributions to science.

Let's just completely ignore the fact that when you google my name you get a freestyle skier that likes to pose skantily clad for magazines.

So back to the indexes... I've often thought that in today's age of electronic databases that we could have some kind of online association such that if a person found ONE of your papers, or maybe knew some topics you had already published on, could associate you with you repertoire. I also thought this could be useful if say, you got married and decided to change your name. One quick click to associate the two names, and that issue would be taken out of the dilemma. Easy-peasy right? Seems like it should be. A little while ago ISI web of science introduced an author search and I thought I'd finally be able to find myself, but it wasn't really flexible enough to deal with a somewhat varied set of research papers associated with different institutions. Just not there yet...

Well, a couple of days ago I got an email from ISI to try something they're introducing called ResearcherID.com. Basically it lets you input your information, including institution, full name(s!), research area, etc, etc. Then you can search, though web of science, for your papers and add them to your profile. It then keeps track of the citation information for your papers, and people can search ResearcherID for your name and whatever other info they might know about you to find your unique profile. I think it's great! I hope it catches on.

Now I can stop calculating my own h-index and just look it up. Oh, stop looking at me like that... as if you've never kept track of your citations. The whole thing gave me a little confidence boost on a somewhat low day as well since I discovered that my 8 papers have been cited a total of 73 times! Whoah... However, my h-index is sitting at 3, which according to Wikipedia's article isn't stupendous for a physicist:

In physics, a moderately productive scientist should have an h equal to the number of years of service...

Ok, that statement probably doesn't apply well to the beginning of one's career (if we count from my first publication date of 2002 even though I was still an undergrad at the time, that makes 6 years.), but still, I would like to see it get closer.

... but I digress...

For those of you who are interested in this ResearcherID thing, it seems to be by invitation only right now, but there is a sign-up sheet to be informed of developments (I think I got invited because I evaluated the author search feature at one point and got on ISI's spam list).

Another carnival of GRADual progress up

... and it's a good one. Go check it out.

I particularly enjoyed the bit about a good powerpoint presentation from academhack. Excellent stuff, really.

That is all.

Note to self: self, wake up.

Dear Physics*chick,

You performance so far this semester has been somewhat underwhelming. While you have accomplished several necessary tasks since your return after the holidays you have seemed generally unmotivated and somewhat disorganized. As you anticipate publishing several papers and getting started on writing your dissertation over the next few months I feel it necessary to encourage you to improve your performance as it will take a great deal more effort to accomplish these tasks than you appear to be applying. This is not meant to be a criticism, but merely a check between your goals and your current output.

Sincerely,

Physics*chick

Thank-you for your concern, Physics*chick. I recognize that I will need to apply myself more intensely if I wish to accomplish my goals. I have already taken your advice and taken action to get going.

Physics*chick

Ok, maybe it's a bad sign that I'm talking to myself, but really, I do seem to be having trouble getting motivated and finding my way through the immense piles of stuff that ought to get done (but has no guiding deadlines). Since I really need to do a bunch of reading and am having most trouble motivating myself to do that I've decided to start with some papers that are of some general interest (ie. outside my field, but of peripheral interest to my field) to me. Maybe then I can get back into the swing of things.

Happy New Year!

Cheers!, originally uploaded by physics*chick.

2008

The year of the THESIS.

Eek. I actually worked out the LaTeX template yesterday and looked over my outline yesterday.

I wonder how it will go? I generally feel good about it. I'm confident in the collection of stuff I have to put into it. The data is solid, much of it is at least preliminarily analysed. Much of it is published or at least submitted. But what else will I learn? I came up with so many new ideas and interpretations while writing my MSc thesis, I'm kind of curious to see what will fall out this time.

And of course I can't wait to wear the floppy hat. THAT is a bold fashion statement.

And then there is the "I wonder where I'll be next year at this time?" California? Germany? Freezing my arse off in Edmonton? Will I follow the project I can't stop thinking about? Or go for a big name place? It's all exciting, but I'm not so good with uncertainty.

Why does every year seem like a BIG year these days.

Here we go.... Wheeeeeeee!

why i hate computers...

... because they *should* help you automate things, but it never seems to work out that way.

I've been doing data analysis on large batches of data files (100's, not 10's, not 1000's) lately, and while I've written an IDL program to do the fitting, plotting, and output of parameters I need, there remained a few tasks that I couldn't figure out how to automate:

1. prepare the batch file (unfortunately, the files are not entirely sequential, so it's not that easy to automate... I could pull some trick with getting a file list and going from there... but...)
   
2. convert all of the .eps files that IDL outputs to .pdf so that I can actually use/view/print them
   

I decided not to bother about the batch file, it didn't really take that long, and once made I save it and never touch it again. BUT the only way I seemed to be able to convert the eps to pdf was to open all the eps files in Preview (it converts them on opening) and then save each of them. This is fine for a few eps (or ps) files... but when you have a 136 staring you in the face and know there are more to come... and that each one involves pressing command-w, enter, enter, you want to find a way that avoids causing tendonitis. Seriously.

First I turned to Automator (I'm a Mac user... unfortunately my solutions will be less than helpful for Linux users, and nearly useless for Windows users... sorry!). To be fair, I have actually managed to get Automator to do some useful things recently, but usually my encounters with the cute little robot leave me feeling rather let down. A quick perusal turned up what I thought was true anyhow, that Automator has no built in way to convert eps (or ps) to pdf. I also checked the Apple Automator downloads and Automator World to no avail.

So I thought, hey, I've got unix commands up the wazoo on here, there *must* be one that can convert eps to pdf...

pstopdf

excellent. So I pull up the man page, figure out how to use it, test it on a couple of files, and merrily enter:

pstopdf *.eps

uuh... geeee... that was fast. A quick "ls" showed me why... it only did the first file. Bugger. A bit of frigging around later, it was determined that pstopdf does not take multiple file arguments.

Ok. That stinks, but maybe now Automator can do something for me using the action "Run Shell Script". Yes, that's it, I'll grab the filenames with a "Find Finder Items" input it to "Run Shell Script" to run the pstopdf command, and voila, there will be 136 pdf's waiting for me. Right? Well not so simple, but yes, eventually. The two main quirks I had to overcome were:

• Apparently at some point the file output and file input of "Find Finder Items" and "Run Shell Script" became mismatched. Oddly this can be solved by inserting a "Label Finder Items" between (you can select none, so it appears to do nothing) which mysteriously does indeed change the file listing in the correct manner.
  
• When using the "Run Shell Script" action: do not enter anything into the script box until after you selected how you wish to pass the input from the previous action. That little drop down will insert the necessary script fragments you need to work with, but only if the box is empty. Since I tend to dive in, I of course immediately put my command in before selecting this, and got very frustrated very quickly.
  
• Also, since the pstopdf command only takes one input at a time (and I couldn't get it to work with stdin, though the man page claims it should function) I used the "Pass input: as arguments" option and placed the pstopdf command inside the loop with "$f" as the argument where the input file should go. If you have a command that takes multiple inputs, you *should* be able to use "$@" outside the loop.
  

Long story short, I'll make available to you, the fruits of my frustration, all for the low, low price of *FREE* (err, uhh, and listening to my rant)... better yet, I'll include my other workflows that I've been using:

• Automator workflow to convert eps (or ps) to pdf (can also be saved as a Finder action)
  
• Automator workflow to take all pdf files in a folder and merge them into a single pdf
  
• Automator workflow to take text files, cut out the header and combine them into a single text file (this one will take some tweaking of the inputs the actions have... easy stuff, just change the drop downs and fields you need)
  

Since some people were having trouble downloading the workflows above, I've put the workflow to convert eps to pdf and to combine pdfs into a zip file for download: PDFworkflows.zip

Is that all? Oh no... no, no, my friends. I started many hours ago, this morning, with IDL opening into an xterm completely UNCONFIGURED for my needs. Let's look at my "needs":

1. Something more readable for my not yet caffinated eyes than black on white (I like a nice soothing green on charcoal... reminds me of that old Apple//c we had when I was a kid)
   
2. More pressing: a bigger window (ok, I can drag and resize, but sometimes funky things happen when I do that)
   
3. And pure luxury would be a SCROLLBAR... yes I like to scroll, especially when I'm running batches of 136 files and I'd like to look at some of that output.
   

Is that too much to ask? I have my X11 configured to open an xterm that is more pleasing on the eyes, but since IDL launches it's own xterm from a mini-app, and I couldn't find where it actually did that anywhere I was stuck with what it gave me. Until today people, until today. All one needs to do is create a default xterm style you are happy with and then any program launching it's own xterm will use this default style. The trick is simple: create a .Xdefaults file in your home directory. The bits of code I used were:

XTerm*background:grey15
XTerm*foreground:PaleGreen
XTerm*vt100*geometry:160x48
XTerm*scrollBar:on
XTerm*scrollKey:on
XTerm*jumpScroll:on
XTerm*saveLines:500
XTerm*cursorColorBackground:DimGray
XTerm*cursorColor:DarkSeaGreen3
XTerm*highlight:LemonChiffon
XTerm*borderColor:SlateGrey

I got most of the commands from here and there is an xterm color table here. Now it looks like this:



Now go make a beautiful, scrollable xterm and make me proud... I have to believe I didn't waste my day in vain.

And convert some eps files to pdf while you're at it. Hell, convert a whole bunch of them and put them together into one gigantic pdf!

Because today, I got my computer to do what I wanted it to do... It just took a really long time.